Being served with a restraining order application is not a finding that you did anything. It is an application, and you are entitled to a hearing.
But some of it binds you immediately, and getting that wrong is how people turn a civil matter into a criminal charge.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
CT Safe Connect: (888) 774-2900 — 24/7, by call, text, chat, or email
If the court issued an ex parte order, it is in force from the moment you are served — before any hearing, before you have said a word.
Follow it exactly. Every term, including the ones that seem unreasonable or that you believe rest on a false account. Violating a restraining order is a separate crime under C.G.S. §53a-223b, charged as a class D felony or a class C felony depending on the conduct involved.
No contact means no contact. Not through a friend. Not through a family member. Not through your children. Not a message asking to talk about it. Indirect contact is the most common way respondents end up charged.
If you need something from a residence you are barred from, that is arranged through the court or through counsel, not by going there.
If you are subject to a restraining or protective order, you must transfer your firearms and ammunition to a federally licensed dealer, or surrender them to state or local police, within 24 hours of notice. This is C.G.S. §29-36k(b), and it applies to ex parte orders.
This is not optional and it is not something to attend to after the hearing.
A hearing is held within 14 days. If the application indicates you hold a pistol permit or certificate, or possess firearms or ammunition, and an ex parte order has issued, the hearing happens within seven days of that order.
That is very little time. It is also the entire opportunity to be heard before an order can enter for up to a year.
At the hearing you can testify, present evidence, and cross-examine. The applicant has to prove the statutory basis — a continuous threat of present physical pain or injury, stalking, a pattern of threatening, or coercive control. Allegations of coercive control, like any other, remain subject to proof and to the court’s determination.
What helps is specific and documentary: messages in full context rather than excerpts, location and timing evidence, records that bear on the particular incidents described in the affidavit, and witnesses who saw something relevant.
What hurts is turning the hearing into an argument about the relationship generally. Judges are deciding whether the statutory standard is met, not who was the better partner.
Beyond the restrictions themselves: a firearms surrender obligation, potential effect on your custody case, possible exclusion from a residence you own or rent, and for some professions and licenses, real consequences. If you are not a citizen, there may be immigration consequences worth discussing with counsel.
That happens, including in the middle of custody disputes. The response is evidence and a hearing — not contacting the applicant, not posting about it, and not ignoring the order on the theory that it should not have issued.
The 24-hour surrender rule, what a family violence conviction means for firearm rights under state and federal law, and the consequences that outlast the case.
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How to apply for a Connecticut restraining order, what an ex parte order does, and what happens at the hearing. Coercive control counts.
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How Connecticut restraining orders work under C.G.S. §46b-15 — applying, responding, the hearing, and what an order does. Glastonbury attorney Daniel M. Morton.
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Every case starts with a conversation about what you’re facing and what it would take to handle it.