GLASTONBURY, CONNECTICUT · FAMILY LAW + FAMILY-VIOLENCE DEFENSE
There is no magic age in Connecticut. Not 12, not 13, not 14. A child does not get to choose, and no birthday transfers the decision.
This is one of the most persistent myths in family law, and it is often repeated confidently by people who heard it from someone else.
Under C.G.S. §46b-56(b), the court may consider the child’s informed preferences where relevant and material, weighing them according to the child’s age and maturity.
Preference is one of the best-interest factors. It is not the test.
A fifteen-year-old with articulate, concrete reasons grounded in their own life will be heard seriously. A seven-year-old expressing a preference the week after a disappointing weekend will not carry the same weight — and a court is alert to preferences that track whichever parent is more permissive, or that appear to have been shaped by an adult.
What makes a preference persuasive is that it is informed — the child understands what they are choosing and why — and that it is genuinely the child’s own.
Through a GAL or an AMC, through an evaluation, or in some circumstances through the judge speaking with the child directly, often in chambers rather than in a courtroom.
Children are generally not called as witnesses in custody disputes, and parents who want that should think carefully about what it does to a child to testify against a parent.
Do not ask your child who they want to live with, and do not tell them the court will ask.
It places a child in the position of choosing between parents, which is harmful, and it is visible. A child who has been prepared tends to sound prepared, and the effect on how their preference is weighed is usually the opposite of what the parent intended.
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Every case starts with a conversation about what you’re facing and what it would take to handle it.
